coun·ter - re·cruit·ing adv. To reverse, refute, or oppose the engagement of persons for military service or the raising of a military force.

"Daring" tool for recruiting "Today's Army"

Five years into the Iraqi war, America’s new military recruits are less educated and fewer “qualified” candidates are enlisting. This is the finding in a new analysis by the National Priorities Project called “Military Recruiting 2007: Army Misses Benchmarks by Greater Margin.” "The percentage of recruits the Department of Defense (DoD) considers ‘high quality’ also dropped considerably,” according to the new report.

A spokesman for the Army Recruiting Command at Fort Knox, Ky., acknowledged that it has been a difficult recruiting environment. He said overall high school graduation rates are declining, which could be a factor. That's the reason for the Army's new "Daring Adventure" comic books.

"We finally gave up on appealing to the educated [sic] more sophisticated high school recruit," said Maj. P.P. O’Hare. "Now we finally have a tool that we can use that matches both the skills that we look for and the intelligence we expect to find in our new recruiting classes." The first issue of Daring Adventures features a superhero who travels overseas to defeat the generals of a pretend invader. The result? America defeats the 'evil-doer' and the President is elected for a third term. Just Kidding

Bush daughters give praise to their service

"I couldn't wait until I graduated college to join the Army," said Jenna Bush, daughter of the President. "So, I dropped out early and here I am in Samarra." Lt. Bush was describing the events that brought her to serve in Iraq and welcomed the opportunity that joining the military brought to both her and her sister, Barbara.

Both joined just after the battle for Fallujah in an attempt to inspire other young conservatives to fight the "stay the course" in Iraq.

In our interview back at base headquarters, after following around the presidential daughters on a mission in the field, the issue turned to immigration. "We shouldn't need to hire foreigners to serve in our Army when there's plent of red-blooded Americans ready to fight," said Barbara.

She was echoing the ideals of many of today's teens who were raised in the shadow of Ronald Reagan and Bush I. Even though some of their parents never wore the uniform of a soldier, these youth are jumping at a chance to become the leaders of the new American hegemony.

"Don't I look cute in these cammies?" chimed in Wolfe Rumsfeld, grandson of the Secretary of Defense. Just Kidding

Join the Army, go to college, become famous, live forever

The Army is famous for recruiting young men and women with promises of wonderful skills and training, college opportunities, and as an alternative to college. It's a great option for students who can't afford college, especially if you ignore the fact that just 10% of the $500 Billion of taxpayer funds that the military spends each year would be enough money for every teenager inn America to go to college for free.

College is the real reason that recruiters get access to High School records, call at all hours of the night, wander through school corridors and stand outside of retailers. These recruiters aren't doing it for their paycheck, but to see children succeed in school. Afterall, that's the reason they joined the Army in the first place..because of their love of children.

New recruits shouldn't mind that college may not be an option if they're dead. Just Kidding