free·dom n. political or national independence; personal liberty; the power to make choices without constraint; frankness of manner or speech

Iraqis freedoms reach all time high

Last October Iraqis throughout that country went to the polls in record numbers to approve a new Constitution. In December they had their first free parlimentary elections. Many hail this as a high watermark for Democracy imposed at the point of a gun.

"We don't mind the 150,000 occupation troops, concrete barriers across our streets, daily bombs and killings," said one Republican Iraqi. "After all, we're free now."

Campaign professionals in that country are already gearing up for their next elections, set to occur after the present government collapses. They've already purged from the rolls the more than 400,000 voters who have been killed. "Dead people shouldn't be allowed to vote...but they're free" said Kahkli Rove, chair of the "Bush for President of Iraq" committee. Just Kidding

Freedom is on the march throughout the world

Freedom is on the march - the new slogan of the National Fascist Party - is gaining favor on American radio talk shows. And, it's on the march overseas as well.

Residents of Afghanistan recently elected to allow women to wear burqas of any color instead of just the traditional blue. "We want our mothers and sisters to have a choice," said one tribal leader. "Thanks to the Americans, we now know what freedom is all about."

Echoing similar sentiments, a Colombian professor described new-found freedoms in that country. "We can now buy four kinds of petrol - Esso, Shell, Mobil and Valero". "Before all oil belonged to the people of Colombia and prices were low, but we didn't have Big Gulps."

Next on the list for freedom: Canada Just Kidding