"President Bush said it's now time for a change in Iraq and he wants them to have a Western-style democracy like ours. So right now in Iraq, the economy is collapsing, businessmen are corrupt, and Hussein wants his son to take over as president. Sounds like mission accomplished." —Jay Leno

Civilian Reserves to close gap

Joining the Army Civilian Reserves Corps (ACRC) was once just a dream for armchair war wannabees. That has all changed, largely because of the war in Iraq.

“Now, it is like, way,” said Cornelius McMurray, who does outreach with a retirement home and says the older people he works with view life in Baltimore as dull, without enough war. "We're tired of not watching it on television and too old for video games." They're now signing up in record numbers with the ACRC to get a chance to go to Iraq.

Former retired commander of the Army’s recruitment efforts, Maj. Gen. Thomas P. Diddy, himself a retirement hold holdout, said there were several reasons for the change, including a poor job market, counselors who encourage activism among seniors, and viagra. "I'm full of energy these days," says Mary Wilbersmith of Topeka. "Now that I'm 'getting it' at least once per week, I fee like doing more to help my country." Thanks to folks like Mary, the Army is expected to be able to keep force levels "up" in Iraq for many years to come. Just Kidding

'Dude, Where's my War?' hits theatres in '08

Actor Samuel L Jackson is to star in a new film exploring the aftermath of the Iraq war, it is reported.

The 57-year-old star will play an translator to a lovable, but misguided, reporter who wanders throughout the countryside of Iraq looking for war stories, says Hollywood newspaper Daily Variety.

The project has yet to secure a distributor, but is scheduled to begin filming in Morocco next month and will also star Buddy Hacket and Elvira.

The new film is to be produced by John Ishwood, whose other credits include Attack of the Killer Tomatos and It's a Mad, Mad, Mad World.

Jackson, who was awarded a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame earlier this year, has appeared in 90 films during his 30-year career, including Quentin Tarantino's Pulp Fiction, three Star Wars prequels, and - most recently - the blockbuster Snakes on a Plane.

"We're in the entertainment business so we should entertain these people. It's been a while since they've had something to laugh about," he said. Just Kidding